Pro Wrestling Ryder Cup - Part Two

After spelling out my idea for a pro wrestling version of golf's Ryder Cup and making my picks for he would fill out the international team, here are the real Americans that should make up the American team.

Team Captain - Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: The greatest wrestling manager of all time is the only choice. While he's never been known as a patriot, he would be ready to interfere at any moment.

1. Hulk Hogan - I really don't have to add anything to this, other than that the American squad should blare "Real American" if they win this weekend.

2. Sgt. Slaughter - Disregard the fact that he portrayed an Iraqi turncoat during the first Gulf War. The guy has his own G.I. Joe figure, for crying out loud.

3. Kurt Angle - He might have recently left the WWF, but the guy is automatically on the team because he won a gold medal in the 1996 Olympics.

4. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan - Try lining up a putt when a cross-eyed guy with a 2x4 is staring you down.

5. Dusty Rhodes - If the foreign team has "The African Dream" then "The American Dream" has a spot on the United States squad. But only if he promises to wear a shirt.

6. The Patriot - With a name like this, it's pretty obvious that he'd be on this list.

7. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin - Nothing says "proud American" like a beer drinking, foul mouthed redneck. Who wouldn't want to give Sergio Garcia the finger?

8. Lex Luger - Went from being an egotistical prick to a guy who loved his country after he bodyslammed Yokozuna on the Fourth of July.

9. John Bradshaw Leyfield - JBL went from being a tag-team cowboy to a world champion after morphing into a combination of "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and President Bush.

10. Mick Foley - Golf would be a lot more exciting if the players risked being thrown off the roof of a cage. Barbed wire and thumbtacks should also be involved.

11. Jerry "The King" Lawler - Normally, when you think of royalty, you think of countries in Europe. But Lawler is just as popular in Memphis as Elvis Presley. Did you know that the old baseball stadium in Memphis was named after Tim McCarver? That has nothing to do with this post, I just find it odd.

12. The Brooklyn Brawler - Why not?

Judging by these rosters, I think this is an American team that could restore some athletic pride to our country. But if they didn't win fair and square, they would just bash their opponents over the head with a folding chair.